Fear Factor - Family Edition

 A few of you inquired about our “Family Fear Factor,” and well, I’m happy to oblige!

Every year, Jason’s parents hold a family campout on their property. They have an outdoor fire pit; a pool, bounce house and mini waterslide for the kids; and even a homemade mini golf course. They wear bright yellow t-shirts that say “STAFF,” and pound stakes into the backyard with campsite numbers on them. They send out a brochure ahead of time saving the date, and list the rules and regulations. (“No fireworks!” “Quiet time is from 12am-5am!”) Everyone pitches a tent in the backyard, and plays badminton, bocce ball, cribbage, dice and cards. It’s always a great time. (Weather permitting.)

A few years ago, after finally hearing enough about how rowdy Jason and his cousins used to be (making their own Batman movies, crashing cars and setting fire to random objects) and how Jason, He Who Does Not Eat Vegetables or Fruits, cockily boasted that he could eat any of the slimy insects featured on “Fear Factor” (Me: “Whatever. You can’t even eat a grape”), we decided to host our own edition of “Fear Factor” at the family campout.

First, Jason & I scoured the ethnic foods section of the local grocery store, selecting super-hot jalapeno peppers, hominy, pig’s feet and cow brain. When we got to the campout, Jason’s mother was more than thrilled to give us access to her kitchen and good cookware to boil the animal parts. We then supplemented our culinary bounty with night crawlers and set the “Family Fear Factor” rules as such: Roll the die. If you roll a 1, you don’t have to eat anything. If you roll a 2-6, you have to eat one of the digestive track-destroying food items. Everyone gets 3 turns.

Jason first rolled a 1, naturally, so he didn’t have to eat anything; in his next round, he ate some of the cow brain. During his last roll, he rolled the number for the jalapeno peppers, but since he doesn’t eat veggies, was let off the hook by having to just take a shot of the juice instead.

I first rolled the number for the pig’s feet, which weren’t bad. But on my next roll, I got the night crawler. After unfurling Senor Chernobyl and rinsing him off, I finally ate him. And you know what? That worm was ten times better than my third roll, the hominy, because god, that stuff was NASTY.